Some time 2002 was the first time I met Christian. It was at Red Corner Gym, World Center Building along Dela Costa Street. I was in a 2-year relationship with someone else then. SE (Someone Else) introduced me to him while he was doing stretches inside the boxing ring. He was actually doing yoga stretches while looking over the Yoga class conducted by Robert Dario in the dance area. I found it pretty funny and weird. Then I forgot about him.
During my 5th visit at the gym, a few of the other guys from the same team were introduced to me including Chris again. I forgot that we were introduced before. SE mentioned that was already the second time I met him. I looked inquisitively at him and asked when was the first time. He told me. “Oh the yoga man,” I claimed. I’m very poor with names and faces, especially guys because they barely interest me at all. Since then I baptized that tall Chinese guy as “Yoga man.” Whenever SE retold stories about grappling class and mentioned people’s names, I had to recount by association. “Chris… Chris? Oh! Yoga guy.”
(2002. We hung out by the steps of the building for a while after their grappling class)
In 2004, I had a birthday party (http://cushee.multiply.com/photos/album/28/Cushees_Birthday_Bash) where my different groups of friends were present –including Deftac and Max3d groups. At this point, I remember Chris as Chris, who has become a friend from Deftac. That night was a whirlwind as I saw my old barkada from St. Peter and former officemates from PS. A friend from the Max3d group, Chie, whispered that she finds the tall Chinese guy cute and was developing a major crush on the guy. “Oh, Christian.” I said we a smile. “I think he’s single.” I initiated an introduction between the two. December of that year, Chie was with me when SE and I attended Makati gym’s Christmas party held at Mark Nep’s place (http://cushee.multiply.com/photos/album/26/Makati_Gym_DEFTAC). It was the second time they saw each other. I was surprised though that at the end of the night, the two looked pretty cozy. I kept giving Chie the eye and shaking my head. I kept giving Chris the eye and shaking my head.
I was out of the loop when the two dated briefly. When that went sour, I was thrust in the middle of it with Chie sharing the story with me. Chris also called me to talk. I didn’t try to quell any fire since I make introductions and that’s that. What happens after introduction does not fall under my responsibility. I was there for both to listen.
After that incident, my friendship with Chris obviously stepped up a notch. He definitely got a lot more comfortable teasing me at the gym. January 2005 finds SE and me at Chris’ birthday party at Rack’s El Pueblo and I see his happy face with girls flocked around him. I was shaking my head in my head thinking that this guy does get around. Much to our chagrin, an impromptu fight between two clashing men brewed in the party. A few days after, CW called me asking for my opinion on a certain issue.
(CW Bday at Rack’s in 2005)
I like acronyms and initials and used to label photos with people’s initials. Since CW is long when pronounced, CW became C-dub for short. He never got why I called him C-dub in my entries and photo captions until he asked me several months after. There were several “ladies” stories after (maybe one that includes a celeb). I got wind that C-dub was seeing someone from the gym. It was hush hush at first but it all came out in the open after a while. CW introduced me to her… Tee Dee. Tee Dee became my friend. Initially started with chats at the gym, dinners after gym, and meetings outside gym like dinners, premieres, movies (http://cushee.multiply.com/photos/album/97/Movie_Group_Date), etc (http://cushee.multiply.com/photos/album/77/Eurostar). Soon I was beside her during C-dub’s 3rd appearance in URCC (http://cushee.multiply.com/photos/album/65/9-10_December_2005). December 18, 2005, URCC VII: The Art of War held at Araneta Coliseum. Tee Dee endeared herself to me and our friendship became tighter than my friendship with C-dub’s.
February 1, 2006 was my flight to Japan for a nearly 1-month study tour sponsored by the Japanese Embassy. My return to Manila realized a 5-year relationship about to fall out. Regardless of my detached feelings, SE and I were in the process of working it out.
Tee Dee and I set out a plan to go out of town. We saw ourselves at Puerto Galera with the group enjoying the long break of Holy Week in 2006 (http://cushee.multiply.com/photos/album/110/13-15_April_2006). It was such a fun week at Puerto Galera even I fell in the bathroom and gashed both my hands.
Trouble brewed in June between the two. They broke up and it was a mutual decision. Tee Dee cried over my shoulder. I carried her over the months she was struggling. I rushed to her each time she called. She was crying everyday and I felt her pain to the point that I started to feel anger towards CW. In August, she met someone and the tears stopped coming. I finally saw a bouncing smile from her again. Calls of 5 times a day decreased to twice a day. Calls were not stricken with sadness anymore but with a chirpy voice of revival, updating me on her new found love.
Much of a blow was when CW started calling and getting dibs on how Tee Dee was doing. I wasn’t going to give any information as I was on Tee Dee’s side. I didn’t like his calls since I was still angry over the hurt that my girl friend felt. I told Tee Dee about CW’s thoughts of getting back with her. Tee Dee told me to tell him that it was over. She embarked on a new journey already when he came knocking again. The situation turned and suddenly, he was the one in pieces.
SE and I attended the birthday party of Tee Dee where the new guy cooked the whole dinner. CW kept bugging me through SMS having me relay his messages to Tee Dee. SE, Tee Dee and I were reading his texts. It was depressing because this was the time he was hurting. Tee Dee then told me, “Jane, take care of Christian now. You’ve taken care of me the past few months. I have moved on. He needs you more than I do right now. I think it is best that you be there for him this time around.”
Towards mid-September and after months of “trying” since March, SE and I decided to end our relationship. My 5 years and 8 months relationship with SE sputtered its last ember. It ended with a good last talk by the pool. Interestingly, SE told CW to take care of me. After a break-up, I always advise my girlfriends to take up a new hobby. Mine was Project Move Out. I decided to try living on my own so I maintained a condo unit in Makati for a while.
Over the course of the months spending time with Chris, hanging out and talking, we came to know each other in depth. He’d give me a ride to the gym after work. We’d casually go see a movie together or have dinner. We’d chat over YM. We were friends being friends. I took the time to date others. He started seeing this girl he met. I’ve grown pretty rusty at holding a conversation interesting since I haven’t dated in a pretty long time. I was on different dates –some were funny, while others were totally forgettable. There were two that I measured my interests with. In spite of this, my friendship/connection with Christian started to stand out the most at the end of the day.
I always enjoyed my time whenever we were together –even to something as mundane as standing in line or listening to music in the car. He appeared to be enjoying my company too as he kept asking about my plans after work. When we didn’t spend time together, a part of me missed him. That was when my smiling face stopped in its tracks with a screeching halt! Why was I missing him? And why do I look forward to seeing him? When did I start caring about what to wear when I see him? I didn’t care I was in a smelly gym outfit a few weeks ago? During lunches or dinners with him, I used to not care if I gave a pesto-filled smile. Then I started to notice I was polishing my teeth with my tongue after every bite. When I laugh, I laugh my heart out. My jaw dislodges and you can count my teeth. If I can help it, I started closing my mouth with my hand when I laughed. Was I flirting? What was going on?
He was growing somewhat awkward too. He became more inquisitive of who I went out with and basically everything that was going on around me. I noticed how he was taking care of me, accompanying me to 168 Mall to get items for my condo, bringing me salad for my diet. I tried to reduce the frequency of spending time with Chris, but we’ve found ourselves missing each other every time we do. We became each other’s source of companionship.
Little did we know that we developed feelings for one another naturally. Maybe the 4 years of friendship where we have seen each other’s worst unguarded, same background, ideals, and our experiences contributed a lot. No matter how hard we both tried to push it away, it was inevitable.
Irony of ironies
There are many unwritten rules among friends. One of the biggest rules is never date their exes. I’ve always kept a cardinal rule of not being involved with a friend’s ex. I was never attracted to one anyway. I never even liked Chinese guys being surrounded by them all throughout school. I’ve always found fair skin to be feminine and I like the dark kind in men. But who knew? Who knew that I’d fall for someone who looks like Chris? All of my friends from school (both SPAS barkada and PIQC) were surprised when they first met Christian. Joycee even had to ask bluntly, “is he Chinese?” They couldn’t believe it. I’ve never had one single crush that had chinky eyes or had fair skin or can speak Chinese fluently. I guess you can’t help who you fall in love with. Love happens.
It took me a long time to admit to myself that I liked him. I’ve never seen him in a different light other than a friend. There were more realizations though as the hours tick on. Spending time with him felt different each day –and unexpectedly I discovered that I was falling for him.
Up to this date, nobody has taken care of me as much as he has and I still feel so much love coming from him as it was at the beginning.
Album: http://cushee.multiply.com/photos/album/110/13-15_April_2006
Album: http://cushee.multiply.com/photos/album/131/052006-_URCC
Album: http://cushee.multiply.com/photos/album/162/052606-_Xmen_Screening_and_Matti
Album: http://cushee.multiply.com/photos/album/160/051906-_Red_Corner
