Click. I checked the LCD monitor of my camera. Too far. I took a couple of steps closer to the butterfly that’s nesting quietly on a yellow flower. It’s a beautiful Saturday. I woke up this morning, quickly gathered my keys, an extra shirt, camera, chips and drinks and put it inside my backpack, jumped in the car and headed to Tagaytay. I really enjoy long drives by the countryside –with music blasting on the stereo. It took me almost 2 hours to get to Tagaytay, because I was taking in the view and would make random stops when I see something I want to photograph. Yagatyat [yes, that’s how you read Tagaytay in my dictionary] is my short escape from the chaos of Manila –and the chaos in my mind. I stuck my face outside the window… took a deep breath and enjoyed the fresh air and sun on my face. The sun stole a kiss from me, but I was too busy enjoying the greens and blues to notice. I’ll never tire of the colors of nature.
Earlier this month, a friend went to Shanghai and left her dog with me. I’ve always loved dogs but never owned one so I had no idea how to take care of one. My mom’s allergic to dogs. When my friend asked if I can watch over her dog, I actually declined. Not because it wasn’t the breed that I prefer. But one whole month? The dog seemed smart enough to take care of itself. It gave me a weird look. I don’t think he liked the scenario either. I stared back at him. What makes you think I’d enjoy waking up to a doggy poop- smelling condo? He snorted and walked away. I don’t know how my friend got me to saying yes, but all of a sudden, I was pouring dog food from the pack to a steel canister and labeling it Foop. Yes, there were times I forgot to feed the dog. Heck, I have dinnerless nights too. Besides, I’m giving the dog survival mode 101 lessons. I’ve been partying out a lot. I was getting burnt out but I kept at it, wasting my health away. I was burning Benjamins from too many drinks and squandering my good mind and body condition from lack of sleep.
Deep inside, I was longing for a nice, quiet time sitting on a couch, with carpet feel on the soles of my feet, watching DVD or TV… or a silly or meaningful conversation over a quiet dinner. Good food, good times, good company. Something to make every minute count… to make waking up, eating, bathing, going to work, getting stressed at work, coming home from work… make it all worthwhile.
I came home one night drunk. A small amount of light sneaked into the crack of the door when I opened it and the light rested on a furry mass lying on the floor. It was Foop. Uh-oh, I forgot to feed him the whole day. Tsk-tsk, I should check up on him more often. I quietly tiptoed my way to the bed, careful not to wake him up. I lied down. Ugh, my back hurts. I suddenly felt warm breathing at the back of my hand. I saw Foop hovering near my right arm, looking at me. He smelled me and I felt his disapproval. I probably reeked of puke, smoke and sweat. After a whiff, I was expecting him to turn around and walk away… but he rested his head on my arm and I felt the warmth of his company. No matter how unguarded [drunk is the better word] I was, his presence made me feel safe. I had no worries waking up tomorrow alone. I smiled and patted his fluffy head. I slowly drifted to sleep… I woke up the next day and saw Foop giving me a dumb smile. I wondered which one of us had the worse morning breath. I smiled back. The sun looked brighter than yesterday. I got used to the pitter patter of his small paws around the condo. I didn’t care if he messed up one corner or left dirty marks on my bathroom floor. I saw myself declining one offer after the other to party out. I looked forward to going to the groceries to buy dog food, or go to Tiendesitas to check out the cutest collar for him, or just walked around the mall or streets with Foop. I can spend the whole day with Foop without noticing that an army passed by.
The more time I spent with Foop, the more that I long to be with him. I started loving the way a smile is lurking at the corners of his mouth, or the way he sleeps, or how inquisitive he gets sometimes that makes me wonder if he is a dog coz he has the curiosity of a cat, or how musty the way his wet feet smell, or how he hates baths like any other dog, or how we both enjoy good food. He brings a smile in my heart –the one that lasts long after I’m already at work… or when I think of him. Now, I understand why some pet owners go gaga over their pets or why they lavishly smother them with love, kisses, and luxury. Pets bring you an insurmountable amount of joy. One that cannot be replaced by a totally wild night with the girls, or a bouquet of the sweetest smelling flowers, or a dinner date at the classiest restaurant in town, or getting the most expensive gadget I’ve been meaning to buy, or undivided attention from the cutest guy in the crowd… It’s the joy that makes you feel light-hearted… makes you sing to the tunes of life… and dance like you own the world. It’s happiness that’s unspeakable. You can’t begin to describe it. You can only feel it. I guess Foop filled that part of me I missed… having to love someone/something without boundaries/conditions. Having to share my day with someone who makes that actual difference to your day… Living is different when you’re taking care of someone. It gives meaning to living.
Ring ring.
My friend told me her flight back to Manila is scheduled next week. I took a deep breath. I almost forgot about my friend. Now, I found myself in Tagaytay taking pictures. I left Foop at home.
I shouldnt be spending too much time with Foop. Sigh, I hate that dog. He pees and he barks… and… Sigh, I really hate that dog.
“It’s so damn hard to even just think about giving up something I’m getting quite attached to.” Nowadays, I look forward to the 25th hour. The days are getting shorter as the week comes to an end.
